At times during performance counseling of a staff member or a subordinate commander, I took on the feeling of a hypocrite, as I would find myself critiquing the very habits or shortfalls that I likewise possessed at some level. Finally, to relieve this burdensome sensing, I began to start my counseling sessions with the acknowledgement that “Some of the areas associated with your leadership and performance that we will discuss are shortfalls that I also experience to some degree myself. Nontheless, it is you that is to receive counsel today, not me. Therefore, I am going to share my observations of you and your performance with the sole intent of increasing your self-awareness and making you a better leader.” I hoped that my acknowledgement would make it easier for the counselee to accept my direct and constructive comments.

In the Corps, we received a performance evaluation with counseling every six months, so I received a lot of counseling over 26 years of service. To this day, I remember Major Dave McGraw’s counsel to me at the Marine Barracks, Subic Bay, Philippines in 1971. The Major looked me in the eye and said, “Jim, if you ever learn humility, you will do great things in the Marine Corps.” I doubt that I did “great things”, but I remember that counsel as if it were yesterday.